WHO IS THE REAL LINDA MARY MONTANO
I WAS BORN IN KINGSTON NY 1942, BENEDICTINE HOSPITAL, RAISED IN SAUGERTIES. ALL OF US HERE TONIGHT ARE DESCENDENTS OF ANCESTORS WHO HAVE GRACED EACH OF US WITH THEIR STORIES, NARRATIVES AND UNFINISHED ISSUES.] AND OUR INNER JOB IS TO MAKE SENSE OF THEIR UNACCOUNTED FOR , UNHEALED CALLS FOR HELP. I KNOW THAT MY ART IS A CONVERSQTION WITH MY IRISH GRANDFATHERS STORY OF HIS BEING BORN ON THE SHIP COMING FROM COUNTY CORK DURING THE POTATO FAMINE. THERE ARE INVITATIONS TO MY FOOD ART HERE AND NEEDS TO ADDRESS FREE FLOATING TERROR BECAUSE OF HIS DANGEROUS BIRTH ON A PROBABLY DOCTORLESS SHIP? MY ITALIAN GRANDPARENTS LEFT COMPOBOSSO FOR A BETTER LIFE, BETTER FOOD, MORE MONEY AND ALTHOUGH GRANDPA OPENED MONTANOS SHOE STORE, MY FATHERS GENERATION WAS SCARRED WITH NEW IMMIGRANT HORRORS AND LITERAL BEATINGS FOR NOT FITTING IN. THAT STORY AND PAIN IS IN MY DNA, AND IN MY ART, I ADDRESS AND HEAL MY DAD AND HIS FAMILY PAIN. (PAUSE AS WE VISUALIZE LIGHT AND SAFETY SURROUNDING IMMIGANTS IN THE US) .IT IS NO WONDER THAT WE ARTISTS(THOSE WHO PERFORM ART AS A LIFE CALLING) AND WE LIFEISTS(THOSE WHO LIVE LIFE ARTFULLY) FIND THAT INSPIRATION FOR OUR ART RESEMBLES AND IMITATES THEIR UNFINISHED LIFE KARMAS. FOR EXAMPLE, I OFTEN INCORPORATE FOOD INTO PERFORMANCES AND FOREIGN ACCENTS BECAUSE THEY DIDNT SPEAK ENGLISH. I FIX THEM AS ART. (BELL ; PLEASE CALL OUT THE NAME OF A RELATIVE WHO HAS INSPIRED YOUR LIFE CHOICES.)
CHAPTER 1: REASON 1 FOR MY WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE? WAS IT BECAUSE DADS PARENTS NEVER SPOKE ENGLISH AND THE INVITATION FOR ME TO BECOME ANOTHER WAS CULTURALLY MYSTERIOUS AND APPROPRIATE AND WAS OFFERED AT BIRTH? MAYBE.
CHAPTER 2: REASON 2 FOR MY WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE. THE CATHOLIC NUNS IN GRADE SCHOOL YEARS 1-8 SUGGESTED OVER AND OVER : BE A SAINT. BE HOLY. AND I TOOK THEIR SUGGESTIONS SERIOUSLY BUT GRAVITATED TOWARD THE SAINTS IN DEEP CHAOS AND TROUBLE. ENDURANCE/DIFFICULTY CAME EASY TO ME AS A RESULT.
CHAPTER 3 REASON 3 FOR MY WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE; LIFEIST LINDA ENTERED A CONVENT FOR 2YEARSS, PRACTICING SAINTHOOD AS LIFE. IT DIDNT WORK AND WHEN I LEFT I FOUND IT EASIER TO BE AN ART SAINT THAN A LIFE SAINT.
CHAPTER 4: REASON 4 FOR MY WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE. ATER THE EXTREMELY TRAGIC DEATH OF MY ONCE HUSBAND, I WAS OUT OF MY BODY AND MIND BUT WITHOUT ACCESS TO PROFESSIONAL HELP AND SAT FOR 2 YEARS IN FRONT OF A VIDEO CAMERA AND MORPHED/BROKE/DISASSOCIATED INTO 7 PERSONAS AS ART BECUASE IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO STAY LIVING AND TO BE ME. I LITERALLY SAVED MY LIFE WITH MY ART. THE VIDEO BIRTHED THEN IS TITLED: LEARNING TO TALK. YOUTUBE.
CHAPTER 5: REASON 5 FOR WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE; BEING A CHICKEN WHICH LATER MORPHED INTO AN ANGEL, SERVED ME WELL AS A DEFLECTION FOR MY HUMAN INCARNATION WHICH WAS TOO DIFFICULT TO FIGURE OUT AS LIFE. SO I MADE AN ART OF BEING AN ANIMAL. AN EASY PROJECTION, AN EASY WAY OUT OF TRAUMA.
CHAPTER 6: REAON 6 FOR WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE: WHEN I WAS MORE COMFORTABLE WITH THE DARKNESSES OF MY MANY SHADOWS AND THE SHADOWS OF MY ANCESTORS, I MADE THE VIDEO 7 STAGES OF INTOXICATION AND ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE PERSONALLY AND ESTHETICALLY FRIGHTENED BY THAT LINDA'S JOURNEY INTO ADDICTION AND BIZARRE AND PATHOLOGICALLY DANGEROUS LIFES CHOICES. BUT I WAS ALSO STRONG ENOUGH TO FACE AND REVEAL MY INNER HORRORS, THE UNSPOKEN POSSIBLE BUT FISCTIONAL SECRETS OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS. SEE 7 STAGES OF INTOXICATION: YOUTUBE. THE 7 PERSONAS IN LEARNING TO TALK WERE FUN, CHEERY AND ADORABLE. THESE 7 WERE FODDER FOR A STEVEN KING NOVEL, BUT NOT QUITE.
CHAPTER 7: REASON 7 FOR WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE: I HAVE 2 CHILDHOOD MEMORIES OF WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE WHEN I REALIZED THAT I WOULD HAVE MORE PRIVLIDGES IF I WERE A MAN. IT HAPPENED ONCE IN THE KITCHEN AND I HEARD INSIDE, MEN HAVE IT BETTER. I WAS PROBABLY WHEN I WAS 13. 1955. AND THE SECOND TIME I FELT LEFT OUT THEOLOGICALLY WAS WHEN THE NUN SAID THERE ARE 3 PERSONS IN ONE GOD: THE FATHER, SONAND THE HOLY SPIRIT. I REMEMBER SENSING: WHERE ARE THE WOMEN GODS? AND I FEEL AT THAT TIME THE CHICKEN WOMAN WAS BORN BECAUSE THE HOLY SPIRIT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A FEMALE DOVE? NOW IVE STRAIGHTEND ALL OF THAT OUT BUT AT THAT TIME IT BECAME FODDER FOR MY ART.
CHAPTER 8: REASON 8 FOR WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE; DURING GRADUATE SCHOOL IN THE LATE 60'S THE CLIMATE OF BIG ART WAS SO OVERWHELMING THAT IFOUND MYSELFIN THE UW AG BUILDINGS, COMMISERATING WITH CHICKENS. THEY BECAME MY ART LANGUAGE AND I BECAME A FAUX CHICKEN OFTEN RESEMBLING A CATHOLIC SAINT LYING IN STATE IN A COFFIN.
CHAPTER 9: REASON 9 FOR WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE: YES MEN HAVE PRIVILEDGES AND ALTHOUGH I FELT CALLED TO BE MALE, I DIDNT CHOOSE THE RADICAL SEX CHANGE TRANSGENDER PATH WITH MULTIPLE SURGERIES AND MEDICATIONS BUT BECAUSE BOTH MY BROTHERS ARE DOUBLES FOR BOB DYLAN AND SOME NEPHEWS ARE AS WELL, I FELT I COULD STEP INTO AN ANIMUS-ANIMA EQUILIZATION WHICH ALLOWED ME TO DUPLICATE THE JOY OF BEING BOBBIE D. I STILL HAVE A DESIRE TO PERFORM AS BOB AND AM LOOKING INTO THE POSSIBILITY OF APPEARING WITH JIMMY FALLON ON HIS SHOW. BTW JIMMY WAS BORN AND RAISED IN SAUGERTIES. SEE YOUTUBE
CHAPTER 10: REASON 10 FOR WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE: I BEGAN ASKING BIG QUESTIONS. WHAT IS LOVE WAS ONE OF THEM AND I INTUITED THAT I WANTED TO LEARN MORE ABOUT LOVE. TIME IN WOODSTOCK AT PAUL McMAHONS MOTHERSHIP BECAME MY TESTING GROUND FOR BOTH OF MY INTERESTS: BEING SOMEONE ELSE AND LEARING TO LOVE. I LOVED HOW PAUL,WHO IS MISTER TRUE HEART WOODSTOCK SAGE AND ORIGINAL ARTIST LOVES AND SAID, I KNOW HOW TO BE BOBBIE D, LET ME NOW BE PAUL McMAHON . IT WORKED . FOR YEARS I WAS HIS DOPPLEGANGER THEN COLLABORATOR AND WE CONTINUE THIS LOVE FEST WHENEVER WE GET THE INNER MESSAGE TO BE ONE LOVE. SEE YOUTUBE
CHAPTER 11;REASON 11 FOR WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE: YES ITS TRUE, I WAS A FEMALE: LINDA RONSTADT IN SANTA FE, SINGING HER SONGS FROM A 40 FOOT LIFT FOR 3 HOURS BUT THE OTHER WOMAN I BECAME IS MOTHER THERESA. THE REASON WAS SO SIMPLE: LIVING WITH A NEUROLOGIC DISORDER IN MY NECK AND NOTICING HOW AGE AND TIME CHANGED MY FACE AND POSTURE, I HAD THE DOWNLOAD ONE DAY: LINDA YOU LOOK JUST LIKE MOTHER TERESA: BENT OVER AND WRINKLED. MY ART IS ABOUT RESPPONDING TO MY LIFE AND I QUICKLY KNEW I HAD TO BECOME HER DOUBLE, AT LEAST IN LOOKS. SO FOR MANY YEARS I HAVE APPEARED AS HER, FAUX BLESSING BUT REALY BLESSING CROWDS OF PEOPLE AND THANKING MY ART SELF FOR USING MY LIFE ISSUE OF AGING AS FUEL AND FOOD FOR MY ART. WE ARTISTS HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE LEMONADE WITH LEMONS AS WE USE OUR FOIBLES, FEARS AND TERRORS AS MATTER AND MATERIAL FOR OUR CREATIONS.
CHAPTER 12: REASON 12 FOR WANTING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE: IM AGING FAST. MY ART IS ABOUT THAT AND FOR YEARS I HAVE LAID IN COFFINS REHEARSING DEATH. AND I INTUIT THAT THE FINAL STRIPPING, FINAL PERSONA , FINAL PERFORMANCE WILL AN ENDGAME DANCE WITH LADY DEATH. I ASK HER TO SWING MEHIGH, SWING ME LOW , SWING ME HARD. THIS CHICK IS READY. LOVE AND THANKS TO MY TEACHERS .
CHINMAYANANDA. LINDA MARY MONTANO 2025 MARCH
