TALK FROM CAA CONFERENCE 2007

CAA TALK ILLNESS AND ART
My name is Beth Stevens and I would like to read a letter from Linda Montano, a panelist who couldn't be here today because she is at home, QUOTE: "feeling like I look too old to be seen in public. I need a face lift, tummy tuck, liposuction and cellulite work done so I cant be there with you." END OF QUOTE.Instead she has sent 3 videos and 10 items from her archive to sell. Each item costs $25, checks payable to Montano and if more than one wants an item, it goes to the highest bidder. Each contains a signed book from her library and clothing from her endurance, 14 YEARS OF LIVING ART. Please come down front when the item is mentioned .
Now to Linda's letter.

 VIDEO 1 PLEASE
 Dear esteemed members of the panel and esteemed audience,

 The first video I will show is footage from DAD ART.From 1998-2005 I spent time with my father Henry Montano, assisting him before his stroke, with shopping, driving, bill paying, doctor visits, but most important, getting to know this amazing man.Then he had a tragic stroke and I became his primary caregiver along with a team of aides. Dad's illness and eventual death, pushed me not only into creation but into a new feeling for the sacred. His illness pushed open my heart and shut up my brain. I do not call the movie I made of him art but I call it a medicine that helped soothe the deep pain that I felt when I lost my dad. The video camera became a surgical scapel that I used to help me really see and honor the trauma of his suffering. And I am happy to think that maybe dad had observed years of my own medicinal performances and persona changes and that my art had made it easier for him to performatively and medically evolve from a powerfull businessman to an Italian Zen master disguised as an invalid.Good bye dad, my artist friend, my best friend , my pain at losing you and mom will never silence, just go so deep inside that it burns and disappears.

OK let's sell the first 4 items :
ITEM 1: 4 SIGNED ART JOURNALS, 2002 AND A SIGNED BRA FROM 14 YEARS OF LIVING ART.
 ITEM 2: 19 SIGNED ADVOCATE MAGAZINES, FOR THE LBGT POPULATION: AND A SIGNED SCARF FROM 14 YEARS OF LIVING ART.
 ITEM 3: 9 ZEN MAGAZINES FROM THE ZEN MOUNTAIN MONASTERY IN MT TREMPER N.Y., TITLED THE MOUNTAIN RECORD...AND A SIGNED BELT FROM 14 YEARS OF LIVING ART
ITEM 4: 4 SIGNED ART JOURNAL MAGAZINES FROM 2001 AND A SIGNED GREEN SCARF FROM 14 YEARS OF LVING ART...

 ALL ITEMS ARE EBAYABLE AND COME DONW NOW TO PURCHASE THEM.


SECOND TAPE : FROM 7 STAGES OF INTOXICATION DISTRIBUTED BY VIDEO DATA BANK

 I made the tape 7 STAGES OF INTOXICATION during my menopause.You might ask, why did I act like an alcoholic to talk about this big life change? I guess it was because hormonally I was out of control.Aren't alcoholics out of control sometimes? And eastern theologies talk about the God intoxicated, another good metaphor .At perimenopause the litany of mental negatives began and I saw menopause as a mystery illness that contained things to fear. Eventually I exhausted the compulsion to obsess negatively and surrendered. My body changed, I became post-menopausal!!! This video is a good and highly recommended medicine.In fact turn to the person to your right and say a few out of control words, eventhough you probably arent perimenopausal, menopausal or post-menopausal. ( one minute only here)

THANK YOU: LETS SELL ITEM 5-8 NOW:

ITEM 5: RESEARCH'S PUBLICATION OF THE BOOK, PRANKS, AND A SIGNED GREEN SHIRT FROM THE ENDURANCE, 14 YEARS OF LIVING ART

 ITEM 6: A SIGNED COPY OF THE BOOK: HISTORY OF THE GUERILLA GIRLS AND A SIGNED WHITE SHIRT FROM HER PERFORMANCE, 14 YEARS OF LVING ART

ITEM 7: A SIGNED BOOK TITLED COUNTERPOSES: CANADIAN ART, WRITTEN BY JENNIFER FISHER AND JIM DROBNICK AND A SIGNED SHIRT FROM 14 YEARS OF LIVING ART.

ITEM 8: A SIGNED BOOK TITLED GAY FICTION, A BOOK BY KEITH HENNESSEY, A CATALOGUE OR CAROLEE SCHNEEMANNS WORK AND A SIGNED ART BRA FROM HER PERFORMANCE 14 YEARS OF LIVING ART. THANK YOU NEXT VIDEO PLEASE.....

Now, I am ill with aging. Why ill??because my thoughts are so negative about it and I correspond negative thinking with having a dis---ease.I am not at ease.I am not easy about it. Im ashamed of all of the signs of my evolution toward physical death and I have not transformed my mind yet. I have not used art enough to help change my negative mind. I have not surrendered.

WAIT I HEAR SOMEONE COMING.....(I COME IN, SIT DOWN AND YOU SAY, :) Who are you??? This is Aunt Ganna...Lindas sister from Italy.

(THEN I START READING)

 LINDA'S PHYSICAL THOUGHTS ABOUT AGING AND WHAT SHE WORRIES ABOUT:

LOOSE TEETH
DIZZINESS
LOSS OF LIBIDO
WEAK EYES
SHAKING
LOSS OF EXTERNAL BEAUTY
 THIN BONES
 TREMORS
 LOSS OF HEARING
DRY SKIN
 LOSS OF HAIR
 AGE SPOTS
ACID REFLUX
MUSCLE ATROPHY
 WRINKLES
INCONTINENCE
HICCKUPS
CONSTIPATION
 DEHYDRATION
 DIMENTIA
 NERVE DAMAGE
MEMORY LOSS

I ALSO HAVE EMOTIONAL FEARS ABOUT AGING:
 PRIDE
 DESPAIR
SELF-REGRET
 SELF-HATE
SUSPICIOUS OF EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY
 MOODINESS
 DISAPPOINTMENT OVER NOT HAVING CHILDREN
 ANXIETY
 DEPENDENCY ON OTHERS
 GREED
GLUTTONY FOR TOO MUCH FOOD
 ANGER
 GLOOMINESS
 SUSPICION
 HELPLESSNESS
 GRIEF
 SELFISHNESS
,NEVER SHARING MONEY TIME FOOD
 BITTERNESS
 ARROGANCE
 STUBBORNESS
 MEAN SPIRITEDNESS
 WORRY
 NIGHT SWEATS FROM TERROR

 *******************************************

LINDA ALSO HAS FINANCIAL WORRIES ABOUT AGING THAT WORRY HER :

 FEAR OF SPENING ALL HER MONEY
 FEAR OF LOSING ALL OF HER MONEY
 FEAR OF NOT HAVING ENOUGH MONEY
 FEAR OF NOT HAVING MONEY FOR MEDICATIONS
FEAR OF INSURANCE CONFUSION AND CALLS TO AARP
 INABILITY TO PAY FOR RENT, FOOD, HEAT,
 FEAR OF BEING RIPPED OFF BY CONTRACTORS, BANKS, SUITORS, INSURANCE AGENTS,FINANCIAL PLANNERS, CPS'S,NEIGHBORS, FRIENDS, PUBLISHERS, LAWYERS, CAREGIVERS,PLUMBERS

STOP!!!!!!!!!

BASTA, THAT'S ENOUGH, LINDA SAYS THIS.
 I NEED ANTI- AGING MEDICINE.
I NEED ART.
I NEED TO GIVE UP THESE FEARS ABOUT AGING AND DYING.

LET ME SELL SOME MORE THINGS FROM MY ARCHIVE.

ITEM 9: 3 SIGNED COPIES OF THE OUT TRAVELER PRINTEDBY ADVOCATEMAGAZINE, A SIGNED COPY OF SISTERHOOD IS POWERFULL BY KATEMILLET AND 2 SIGNED GREEN SHIRTS FROM 14 YEARS OF LIVING ART.
 ITEM 10: SIGNED COPY OF THE BOOK, CRITICAL MASS:HAPPENINGS, FLUXUX AND RUTGERS BY GEOFFREY HENDRICKS, AND A SIGNED SHIRT FROM LINDA'S ENDURANCE

.************
GOOD, NOW I AM GETTING MORE READY TO SURRENDER TO THE DIGNITY OF AGING, I AM READY TO SMILE AT THE PARADOX AND MYSTERY OF THIS VERY SHORT JOURNEY ON THIS INCREDIBLE MOVING BALL.

 BRING ON THE CURE AND MAKE ME AN INSTRUMENT OF YOUR PEACE, WHERE THERE IS WORRY, LET ME MAKE ART,
WHERE THERE IS FEAR, ART;
WHERE THERE IS SICKNESS ART;WHERE THERE IS TERRORISM, ART

BRING ON THE CURE.AND AS 96 YEAR OLD STILL LIVING PAINTER, HANNE STERNE SAID AFTER SUFFERING COMPLICATIONS FROM A STROKE: "...SITTING STILL.... AND RESTING IS SO ACTIVE...iT'S NOT JUST DOING NOTHING.....IT'S BEING AND EXISTING IN A CERTAIN WAY. iN A WAY OLD AGE IS LIKE THAT.iT HAS ITS BEAUTIES." I SIGN OFF NOW FROM THIS LETTER, IN BRILLIANT ART/LIFE TO ALL,
LINDA

PRAYER OF ST FRANCIS: LORD. MAKE ME AN INSTRUMENT OF YOUR PEACE.WHERE THERE IS HATRED LET ME SEW LOVE,WHERE THERE IS INJURY LET ME SEW PARDON.WHERE THERE IS FRICTION, LET ME SEW UNION.WHERE THERE IS ERROR, LET ME SEW TRUTH.WHERE THERE IS DOUBT LET ME SEW FAITH.WHERE THERE IS DESPAIR LET ME SEW HOPE.WHERE THERE IS DARKNESS LET ME SEW LIGHT.WHERE THERE IS SADNESS LET ME SEW JOY. O DIVINE MASTER,GRANT THAT I MAY NOT SO MUCH SEEKTP BE CONSOLED AS TO CONSOL,TO BE UNDERSTOOD AS TO UNDERSTAND,TO BE LOVED AS TO LOVE. FOR IT IS IN GIVING THAT WE RECEIVE IT IS IN PARDONING THAT WE ARE PARDONEDAND IT IS IN DYING THAT WE ARE BORN TO ETERNAL LIFE,AMEN.ST FRANSIS OF ASSISI.