YOU KNOW YOU ARE A PERFORMANCE ARTIST IF...............

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A PERFORMANCE ARTIST IF...........
1. You dress like an angel, astronaut,nurse etc and sing/dance to Jackie Gleason music at your local mall for no apparent reason.
2. You take your front dental plate out at your 30th class reunion and sing My Funny Valentine with the person you liked in the first grade.
3. You gather 1008 identical toasters, spas, outdoor barbequesof metal garages and place them on your front lawnfor a week and then distribute them to the first 1008 practitioners of Tantra.
4.You take a plane to a city you've never visited, choose a departure gate,wave and cry uncoontrollably as passengers leave for their plane. Crying continues until you exit the building.
5.You bring chocolate syrup ,honey or yogurt to your bathroom and pour it over yourself while trying to straighten out an HMO claim on the phone.
6.You dress your pets , your children and partner in identical clothing every Wednesday.
7.You sleep in a coffin that you have made in order to face your fear of dying.
8.You feign loss of control of limbs, words or bodily functions while watching TV (choose any program)alone on a saturday night.
9.You webcast daily 15 minutes every detail of your finances and after a month of disclosures you take an email poll to determine if you should tithe/adopt/support a church, child,senior citizen,third world country, Hospice,unemployed family, artist, teenager or yourself.
10.You voluntarily retire,give yourself the gift of time and take a vow of inner silence.